Friday, June 4, 2010
Off to the Airport
I'm a leaving on a jet plane but I do know when I will be back again. Yeah, shortly I will be off to the airport to get ready to embark on my trip to New York and Delaware. When I was a kid going to the airport was the most fun you could have. You always had a nice stewardess checking on you, you got pilot wings, food. Not to mention a nice pillow, a blanket, cards, I would always get a free deck of cards. Now what do I get? Grief... Now I am not a first class traveler. Yes, I fly coach along with everyone else but really how much better is it in first class? I have flown first class, on rare occasion, but you still have to go through all the hassle to get on the plane. You still have to take your shoes off, your coat, hat, whatever it is they want, you take it off. So you get food. Big deal. How good is it really? Have you ever had a meal on a plane and said to yourself? I hope I get this meal again. That was really tasty. Do you have cravings thinking of that meal like you do of your favorite entree at your favorite restaurant? I didn't think so. Magazines, okay you get better magazines in first class so you can save your coin before hopping on the plane. Fair enough, but that is one expensive magazine you just paid for, if you get my drift. The seats are wider and there is more leg room, fair enough. That's nice, but is it really worth the extra money? I love how when I get onto the plane and I have to walk by the first class passengers how they look at you. They have their drink, their pillow, their blanket with their smug look on their face. They are someone now. They are "first class passengers." The one that really annoys me is the guy talking way too loud on his cell-phone conducting a Trump like business deal. Who knows, maybe he is talking to the Donald himself. And why does everyone have to look me up and down as if wondering whether or not to purchase me? Haven't they ever seen a person walk by them before? No. First class passengers love to watch the people walk on by. What's up with that? Do they want us to make sure we get a good look at them? Do they feel like a celebrity? Actually, celebrities don't want to make eye contact and call attention to themselves. Only the D listers do, not REAL celebrities. So soon I will subject myself to the brutality of the first class passengers and the security people. I will have to strip down and out of my clothes. I will have to wait why they go through my purse and undoubtedly confiscate something that I should have packed with my luggage. Just for once I wish all of the security people could agree on what is acceptable. What is acceptable in LA is not in Spokane. What Philadelphia seizes is different from Baltimore. And New York, don't even get me started. The rules change daily as to what is acceptable and somehow I never get the memo. I think it is a conspiracy to jump start the economy. That's why they take all of our goods. I mean, I'm a woman I must buy another pair of tweezers. I wear contacts so I'm going to purchase solution and perfume. Well, get where I'm going with this. I must hope and pray that I make my connection so people if I am in the back of the plane and we are behind schedule and the flight attendant says will those of you not making connections stay seated for those people making connections. STAY IN YOUR DAMN SEATS!!!!! No lady, I don't want to help you get your bag out of the overhead compartment and watch your turtle down the aisle. MOVE IT!!! I know you are seeing your Grandchildren that you haven't seen in 6 months and Tammy is turning 10 but I don't care. I want to make my connection. And please whoever is sitting next to me don't talk to me about your last divorce, the person you are flying off to meet that you met on-line and you just know is the one. Why do you think I have these earphones on and there is nothing playing? Why do I have my Vanity Fair Magazine? Why do I close my eyes and pretend to sleep? SO I DON"T HAVE TO TALK TO YOU! What do I want? My favorite words on any flight. So we are on our final approach.... So after the hassle of getting to my destination I have arrived. Now what do I want? I know that I am looking forward to my favorite Latte from my favorite coffee place in the whole wide world... Brew Ha Ha. The one in Greenville. I can only hope that my favorite Barrista will be there to make it for I have traveled a long way for that cup of joe.